Summum Bonum

     What is life? Why do we exist? These are just questions that we sometimes are curious of yet no one ever dares to go into deep inquiry for all (if not, most) of us are too ignorant or too lazy to do so. We tend to over-think and neglect on these minute curiosities for we are blinded by the influence of Religion. What we might (or do) not know is that these "minute curiosities" might be the very reason of what differentiates us from other creatures.

     But before we go deeper into that thesis, let me talk a little about myself first. I am just student to be honest. I have no degree or anything that could make me be acknowledged by people (not even the least of honors). I'm one of those guys who sit in the back-most portion of the class because I'm afraid the teacher might call me to answer something. But it isn't really that. What I'm only scared of is that if I might fail or make an err to any instruction or inquiry that my teacher might dare ask upon me (I'm just scared of being wrong). So if you're like me, then kudos to you also!! ^^

    Why am I scared you might ask. Well, that's because I am not verbally proficient and as confident as others are. And why am I like that? Well, it just goes back to the reason that I am afraid to fail. I am scared because I am not confident and verbally proficient. Heheh, you might be confused right now but I'm actually trying to create somewhat of a paradox here, just to make your brain roll over. But really that's true. Even I'm confused with myself. But, I want to know more, to know more, especially about me. I want to learn more of who I really am.

    And this is what (I think) separates me from the rest. I love to think. My brain never runs out of questions. Questions that sometimes aren't supposed to be asked because we know, by practice or from what it seems to be, is true and should not be asked anymore. Questions such as "Why do we have to eat?" (We eat because our body needs nutrients to suffice for our actions and neural processes and such yet I ask, "why is this so?"); "why are we (humans) more superior in rationality than animals?" (albeit humans are still classified as part animal, yet what I mean are those which are uncivilized and wild living creatures which exist as non-human or have less cognitive capabilities).

  But in most cases, I am negatively scrutinized of my actions. I know that such aren't supposed to be asked because we know by practice or experience that such phenomena exist because of a particular reason or cause which causes to happen or occur. Yet I do not like that notion that we should just stop there because "That's that" or "That is because that" (especially when I am reasoned with - or via - religious methodology or that of the scriptures; just because you believe in a God doesn't mean that that should be an accurate or reliable criterion for such inquiry of mine. Please be rational when it comes to arguments). I like to think deeper into anything and know more about it. But it's hard though, for absolute wisdom or knowledge can never be attained easily (especially with me that I am but a nobody). No one might ever will. Yet, I see this as the most beautiful thing that we humans can ever be provided or be given of: that there is never and end to to the acquisition of information. 

  That we exist because we learn and we experience. We learn about things (and ultimately learn about ourselves "truly") and that this is the very reason that we exist: to learn. To know more and be knowledgeable of anything. No information is ever irrelevant nor insignificant. Anything which can be learned is (or even that which cannot) is always worth knowing about. That Learning is the greatest good in the existence of life.

  This is my favorite aspect in going to school: to learn and learn more. You see, I'm one of those students which value learning more than the grades. Sometimes people forget the "Essence of Education"; that grades are valued more than the learning experience itself. I for one, don't give a damn about my grades (yet in order for me to stay in our wonderful university, I need to at least maintain a passing grade). People, both students and  teachers should change the way they look at education. This is not totally a jungle which is all about survival. We are civilized and rational humans who should think better and act better in accordance to the "True Essence of Education": learning. And that for me is the Summum Bonum, life's greatest good.

A Happy Kiddo

        "It's the heart that defines love in the family, not necessarily the presence"; these were the words that my mother often spoke of when I was but a toddler, yet by that time I had no understanding of the world. I didn't understand what she meant back then. My mind was still blunt.

       For most of  my life, my mother was the only one who's spent most time with me than any other person in the world. She has taught me and guided me with her pure wisdom and has taught me the basic moral values that any tad needs to be sufficed of. She was my very first teacher in life. You might be reading this  now and ask about my father. Well, he's not really away or anything. He's just . . . gone; away, never to come back to us again.

     When I was about four (4) years old, he used to come home from work and bring me a toy. He would only come home to us (in San Remigio) often because he worked here in the city. He worked at the Philippines National Airport in Mactan, Cebu. He worked as the Air Traffic controller back then.

     My father was a simple kind of guy. He was very bashful (which I think is the reason why he worked in a secluded place such as his office in the radio control room). He was very generous, especially to his friends and relatives; my mother even told me that when father goes to visit his roots in Mindanao (GenSan), he would go there abundant and fully clothed,  but by the time he comes back to cebu, he'd only be wearing just his shirt, his pants, and his pair of slippers, together with his bag emptied. He was very Religious. He was once part of a religious group called the "Knights of Columbus" and attended church masses regularly. He sincere to his faith in God.

    The thing about him though is that he is very abusive with his health. He didn't care about his health and the wellness of his body and only thought of sustaining the supplication for the needs of the family. But what really affected most of his health (and ultimately ruined his life until now) was his abuse to his lungs; he was such a heavy smoker. He would smoke so much and he just won't stop to my mother's reprimands He was hard-headed in that aspect. I was four years old when he left us. He left us for good and would never to return to us ever again. 

    The last unforgettable memory of him that I could never forget was the scene in which he was already bed-ridden and very ill. There he laid and could barely speak (his mouth was covered with a respirator); he was so sick already from his Lung Cancer. I at once came close to him and he said to me: "Kid, you be strong. Keep your heads up and never cry for me or for any other reason. You smile and be happy always . . . ". Two days later, he died.

    What he asked from me, I could not really do.What reason would (and/or should) I be happy of? Nothing. But at that time I never really felt much of the pain. As I grew older, the pain became more evident and obvious. Growing up without a father is hard. Happiness would be the least idea that I could ever think of. Good thing that faking is so easy to do yet deep inside, I've always longed for a father. Someone who would teach me how to play basketball or teach me how to ride a bike. Still, I've accepted it already. He's gone, and that's that. Albeit I hate to admit it but what else can I do about it? Crying or being bitter about it won't do any good. This was reality itself hitting me right in my face.I can smile though, but I could never be truly happy. I never will. A happy kiddo is not entirely a happy kiddo; a happy kiddo is a happy kiddo because he is happy, not just because he can smile.
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IT'S NOT A TOY, IT'S NOT JUST A ROBOT, IT'S GUNPLA

“Greetings, my fellow earthlings”. Today I will be talking to you about a hobby that I so love (or as for now, ‘I so once loved’ and will “soon to be” loved once more) to do especially during the summer break or during Christmas season. Today I’m going to talk you about my “seasonal-addiction” of GUNPLA’s.

So what is a GUNPLA?

Well, GUNPLA is generally the term used to name or describe any gundam model (or kit) that is in plastic form or is in plastic composition. The name itself is a portmanteau word made by combining the words “GUNdam” and “PLAstic”. Never heard of the word Gundam? Click this link then

I’ve always despised the stereotypical and ignorant notion of people that Gunplas are “toys”. For goodness sake, THEY'RE NOT TOYS, THEY ARE MODELS. If you closely on the box of a Gunpla model, it says there “ n scale model ” (where n is the scale number). IT'S A MODEL NOT A TOY, got it? Ok, now that we’ve got that all cleared up let’s continue to our topic here.

You might ask why I love these Gunplas but if you ask me that, you’re already missing the good part. You see Gunplas, unlike other scalar models-slash-figures-slash-collectables, are not ‘ready-made’. These Gunplas are to be assembled yet, and assembling these bad boys is the part that I LOVE THE MOST.

Assembling one isn’t really that hard, unless you have no patience at all. Assembling one takes time and effort but in the end, it’s all the worth it. Usually, smaller scale models (those with bigger denominator value e.g. 1/144) are easier and more convenient to build albeit the resulting figure isn’t as satisfying and as beautiful as those with higher scales (smaller in denominator value e.g. 1/100, 1/60). Also, there is FREEDOM in assembling these figures, that is, you can customize them in any way you want and be creative as much as you want to and paint them in whichever colour you like.

The problem with this though, in doing this (and in collecting such) is that these models can be pretty pricey. Yes, true (especially those that are of higher scale quality). These models can cost so much that I never ever answer the questions and inquiries of people regarding their prices

But for me, their price is worth the time they give – the time and moments of delight that I get from these bad boys are incomparable, and in that reason, ‘cannot be bought or exchanged for anything’. You wouldn’t buy a gunplay unless of course you WANT that Gunpla. And for these past six years of hunting and collecting these “amusing” machines of mass destruction and warfare, never had I had any regret buying any of these Gunplas.

For some more pictures, here's a link to an album of my "not-so-great" (small) collection of Gunplas.

Silence means yes

       
                                                               Silence means yes

               "Okay class, you're dismissed". The moment that I heard this, I immediately stood up from my shaking (and almost broken) chair and hastily ran out of the classroom. But right before I exited, I stopped right by the door – holding the knob tightly with my right hand while the other gripping the sling of my bag – and I shouted, "Today, I'm gonna make me the happiest man on earth!". Everyone looked at me. Most of them, perplexed (including our teacher). Daryl, my bestfriend, who sat three chairs in front of where I was seated smiled and gave me somewhat of an encouraging gesture: he raised his hands and gave me a 'two-thumbs up'. I looked back at him, and responded to him by pounding the left side of my chest with my lift fist clenched.

              It was a tuesday. It was the fourteenth of February.It was already dusk, just ten minutes before six in the evening (as I recalled) and I was waiting in the plaza beside the old, huge mahogany tree where we used to see each other. There was no bench to be found near the tree, the reason that I was patiently standing. I waited and waited and I waited and waited some more . . .until I couldn't wait any longer. So I reached for the phone on my left pocket and started to type: "Wer r u?". I paused for a sudden and hesitated to continue. I thought there for a moment, Am I really sure of what I am doing? Is this really the right and perfect time for me to tell this to her? I asked these to myself. And then I realized. I was just one year away from college, and I might never be able to see her again and tell her about this. "Win or lose, at least you would try". I remembered the words that Daryl spoke to me about. Finally, it came to me. Time doesn't need to be perfect.Time needs to happen. So I ran my heart out, and went out to look for her to that place that I know she would surely be: my heart.
             This day was very special. This Valentines day was the day I decided to finally confess my love and eventually court her, the girl of my life whom I've always dreamed of marrying (someday hopefully). It's been more than a year and a half since we came to know more about each other. We've shared many secrets to each other, and have had several conflicts and 'cold wars' along the way. And I think it has been more than enough waiting and keeping my true emotions covert. Today was the day I decided to man-up, and step up to the plate.
           I was panting. I was breathing very hard. My knees could even barely stand but never did I felt tired about it. I was just too excited and was filled with so much energy.I looked around the library but I didn't see her. I went to the librarian and inquired "Did you by any chance saw a girl came in here? Long reddish hair? Bright brown eyes, who I think is about two inches shorter than me?". "There is a girl with a long hair there in the literature section" she answered. I said thanks to her and immediately went out to the literature section. And there she was. Her long reddish hair magnificently leaning by her shoulder; her head, looking up at some of the books as if looking for something; her right hand was in her pocket, the other trying to reach for a certain book. I approached her.She then noticed I was coming, looked at me, and smiled.
   "Oi! Bro! What are you doing here?" 
   "Oi, Bro, uhm... I was looking for you."
   "Huh? Why?" she asked. Her face, looking very curious.
   "Uhm, I wanted to tell you something."
   "Ok,sure. What is it?"
          I opened my bag and I reached out for the flowers and a red box (which contained chocolates and a letter) and gave it to her. She then smiled. I came closer to her. I looked her in the eye, and she continued to smile to me. We were staring at each other for awhile there. She was speechless for she didn't expect any of this. I came even closer, and I hugged her. I hugged her so tight and warm, and told her,"Happy Valentines day Bro". That was the best feeling in my life. To feel her so close to me, its as if I wouldn't wanna let go of her and just hug her forever.
         I released the hug, and held her shoulders by my hand.I looked at her sincerely,and said, "Bro,I know we've known each other for a long time already. You know me more than anyone, as I know you more than anyone also. I may not be the best and that's because I am nothing – I am nothing without you. Which is why I need you. You complete me bro. I love you. Will you love me also?"        
        She was still so speechless. She didn't say anything. And after a while, tears started to slowly fall from her eyes and she started to cry. She then hugged me again. Still, she didn't say anything to me. She didn't have any response. Her silence was so puzzling. But for me, her silence meant something.
           But then suddenly, from out of nowhere, I started to hear a loud ringing noise. It was so loud. I tried to find where it was coming from. Then I opened my eyes, and realized, I was already late for school!!! It was just my clock that was being so noisy. I realized, that It was all just a dream.

            

'Ego'

                                                                         'Ego'

                    At first glance, one would easily assume that the title of this blog, ‘ego’, is the same as that stereotypical notion and/or definition of ego, which is pride. This is a common perception that I expect from many. But actually, it isn't really meant that way. The word ‘ego’ in which I use here is the Latin equivalent of the word/s  ‘I’, ‘myself’, or ‘me’.  That is because the articles that I'll be posting here will all be about myself, ‘ego’. If not all, then maybe most of it. So to start off, let me begin with a simple introduction:   

“Hi :)”

                     Hello there. My name is James Gabriel Garrido, but you can simply call me by my first name, ‘James’. I’m  5”1’ tall and I weigh about roughly 58 kg. I was born in San Remigio, Cebu – on the fifteenth of November of the year Nineteen Ninety-six, exactly  four  o’clock in the morning. I’m currently living in my sister’s residence in Sunny Hills, Talamban, Cebu city, Cebu  - albeit my permanent home address is  in ‘Poblacion, San Remigio, Cebu’ (northern part of Cebu where I grew up and where I spent most of my childhood ).  The reason that I’m staying here in the city is because I’m currently studying  Bachelor of Arts in Psychology in the University of the Philippines, Cebu . I’m a freshman student, and my student number is 2013-53100 (because of some reason, I fortunately passed the UPCAT).

                                                                       About me

                      There isn't really that much to talk about me. Because if I’m going to summarize ‘me’ in one sentence or so, it would be: “I am a VERY boring person”. You see, I have nothing to tell or talk about that is going to interest you in any way whatsoever. And there isn't, I assure you that. No really, I mean it. There isn’t.  I swear. But for the sake of telling, I'll just say some few things about me as to what are some of the things that I love, like, and do, and what not, or just say anything that I can say about myself.

                   I hate wearing my eyeglasses, despite the fact that I am near-sighted and I’m only forced to do so, so that I could see things clearly from afar. I don't feel like wearing it because I feel awkward about it and I just don't want to. I don’t drink (alcohol) and I don’t smoke. Never have, and never will. I live a straight-edge lifestyle (the reason for that, I will tell later maybe in my future posts). I love to eat nachos or any other Mexican food (e.g. taco, burrito, etc). I listen to some rock/ballad music. I love THE BEATLES and I still love listening to them and their music, up until now (if you’re reading this and you don’t know who they are, STOP. Go to youtube, and search them and listen to their music, and through God’s merciful name, may you learn to realize what ‘good music’ is all about).I’m not a musician but I do know how to play the guitar. Though, I haven’t been able to play it again since the classes started. I don’t play basketball, I don’t do UFC, but I used to play tennis. ‘Used to’. I quitted a month before graduation because I became so busy with my Investigatory project but I am planning to come back and play again as soon as it’ll be vacation. I play and collect trading cards, specifically ‘Yu-Gi-Oh’ and ‘Cardfight Vanguard’. Although in Yu-Gi-Oh, I haven’t really been playing that much already because of the current ‘shitty’ format of the metagame and in fact, many are already transferring to Vanguard (just as I did) where there is an equal and more balanced structure of a meta. I LOVE PHILOSOPHY, PERIOD. Yes, I love Philosophy VERY MUCH. I’ve only read a few books about it, but I’m already SO in love about it. I like how it approaches life, and its valuable lessons to it, and the many great men who define ages, and the concepts and ideas that Philosophy presents, it is just ‘life-changing’.  I've only read 1 dialogue of Plato, which is the ‘The Apology’ (of Socrates, translated by W.H.D. Rouse) and a reference book about Philosophy (‘Ideas of  the Great Philosophers’ by W. S. Sahakian and M.L. Sahakian). The latter, I really love to read and read and read again and again. It’s a beautiful summary of some of the most remarkable concepts and ideas or philosophies of great philosophers. From Plato to Kant, from Epictetus to Schopenhauer, it just has almost everything fundamental. But enough about that. I’ll talk more about Philosophy on my other blog. For now, I think that’s about it (I guess). 

               To summarize all of this, I’m really a ‘weird’ person. That's just the way I see myself. I feel different from the society. I don’t do vices like other teens do today. I don’t partake in what modern men do (specifically ‘playing’ e.g. dota, etc). I like philosophy, and I’m pretty sure, NO ONE, with the same age as I am, WOULD EVER learn to love philosophy as much as I do. Not that I know any but my point is, I’m a weird kiddo. I am just so different from other people that I just can’t seem to get along with others because I find it hard to adjust and become someone else. Or maybe, I just haven’t found the right people to be with. Who knows (I don’t. Do you?). And thats about me. Finis.